I'm Alright, I'm OK
2017– Present
"I'm Alright, I'm OK" is an on-going piece started in late 2017 as part of “Observer: Observed”.
It follows a series of meticulous recordings and documentation of my habits and how I live my life. I was interested in exploring how my practice is and becomes intrinsically part of my daily life. This project started when I first moved to London from Singapore and it also became a therapeutic form of self-healing. I wanted to understand how my mind and body were negotiating the change of environment.
READ process in detail @ http://alysheamo.myblog.arts.ac.uk/
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
WATCHING MYSELF EAT
EATING VIDEOS:
WATCH: Video on Vimeo @ https://vimeo.com/241172899
WATCH: Video on Vimeo @ https://vimeo.com/243561155
During my first proper year in London, I lived in a room that had one vanity table that functioned as the spot I would get ready in the morning, eat, do my work, watch movies etc. I spent a large majority of my life then in front of a mirror, in front of the reflection of myself even if I didn't want to. I would constantly be able to see the movements of myself through my periphery. These series of videos where I document myself eating is a representation of what I saw when I ate, 3 times a day for a whole year. Organically, this mirror that I was trapped within became the starting point for "Observer: Observed", as it similarly explores that tracking of self, the projection of self, the reflection of self, the hyper-consciousness of self, even if it was involuntary.
The project initially started out of intrigue and interest with the notion of watching oneself and the dichotomy between the self (possibly, the mind, the body, the soul, the interior, the exterior etc.). However, I quickly felt trapped within a cycle I created myself that I couldn't quite stop. I felt like I was going insane with such acute understandings of how I looked like when I was eating. It affected the way I interacted with people when I went out for meals with them.
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Like the mirror, I also constantly found myself eating alone against glass windows in the middle of the city. I would people watch as I ate, thinking that I was escaping the room with the vanity table, escaping the mirror that had me realise myself and had me trapped. However, when the sun went down and the reflection on the glass windows got more and more prominent, I was once again, watching myself watch myself eat.
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"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
"I WASHED MY HANDS..."
READ more about this documentation here.
DOCUMENTATION OF WASHING MY HANDS
I've always been a bit of a compulsive hand-washer and in light of documenting habits that I don't particularly enjoy, I decided to document how many times a day I would wash my hands and the routines around it like closing the door with my elbow, the time, the reason why I washed my hands etc.
I did this for a bit over a month and towards the end of it, I started adding in more details like the time I would fall asleep which led me to my next observation.
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
SLEEP LOG
Along with the other habits that I chose to focus on during this project, these were habits I wanted to change, like my sleep routine.This documentation didn't last too long though.
SHINGLES
SHINGLES
SHINGLES
SHINGLES
SHINGLES
SHINGLES
SHINGLES
SHINGLES
SHINGLES
GRAPHIC IMAGE WARNING
The day before my first day of uni in London, I was greeted by a strip of shingles so I spent the night before in the hospital and the rest of a whole 2 months wrapping myself and sleeping on one side waiting for these blisters to scab up. This was also what I considered a habit that I did not enjoy doing. My body was also obviously not handling the move very well even if I thought I was which I thought was an interesting split between my mind and body and how in this circumstance, the body was ill.
During this healing process, I was also taking photos of my torso because I could not see how the back blisters were healing/needed help with where I should wrap. So naturally, my camera roll on my phone was already documenting my healing process through the medium of photography.
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
ULCERS IN MY MOUTH
Similarly, I burnt the roof of my mouth and I needed aid in seeing how well it was healing so I took photos of the inside of my mouth.
BROKEN DOOR HINGE
BROKEN DOOR HINGE
BROKEN DOOR HINGE
BROKEN DOOR HINGE
BROKEN DOOR HINGE
BROKEN DOOR HINGE
BROKEN DOOR HINGE
BROKEN DOOR HINGE
BROKEN DOOR HINGE
BROKEN DOOR HINGE
During one of the days of probably November 2017, the hinge of my room door unhinged itself and it really disrupted my hand-washing routine because instead of using my elbow to push the door handle down, I had to lift the entire door up out and then up and in again. So I felt like because the method of which I am using to open my door was altered, it was worth documenting.
WATCH this video @ https://vimeo.com/243493389
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Results from months of documenting my habits:
These remnants of my life were important because they all eventually took up a significant part of my life and gave me an insight of what my life actually is versus what I perceive it to be or what I want it to become.
An important aspect of this series of documentation was the medium of which I would do so: videos, pictures, writing.
I think that it almost became a semi-healing process for me to understand my sense of agency in this new space, new city away from home and understanding the relationship between my environment and myself.
This entire exercise of being both the observed and the observer also raised other notions like the dichotomy between mind and body, man and nature as well as life/reality and performance.
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It made me feel as if this whole room (the mirror, the table, the door, the tiny window, the bedbugs, the single lightbulb) was made for me to experience such loneliness but also such detailed understandings of myself and for that, I am somehow grateful.